Why do we allow fear to drive us so much when it comes to what we want to do? I am teaching my kids you can do anything you put your mind to. Find your passion and create a position for yourself that will make you money so you can enjoy life and the biggest lesson of all DO NOT Settle! That is what I am telling them. I am not telling them that their ideas are wrong or don’t do that or this because how will you ever be able to make a living. Somewhere society has made it so that if the chances of making money at a certain profession is lower than average you shouldn’t go into it. What you are really saying to someone is I don’t have faith that you have what it takes to make it happen. If others have been successful at whatever that specific profession is than why are we not encouraging those who are passionate to go after their dreams and work to make it happen. Whether you want to be an actress or a doctor it doesn’t matter because you can fail at either. However, you can also succeed at either if you are passionate, believe you are worth it and get creative in finding ways to make money at it. For example- so many actors who may or may not have made it to Broadway or film have decided to teach because their passion for the arts is so great that they get to share that inspiration with students who have aspirations as well. It is almost like the circle of life. Inspire and be inspired. You want to become a doctor, but don’t want all of the college debt or time that goes along with it – there are many other professions you can take on along the way that help others. The point is when did we decide that pushing those away from their calling is better than encouraging them to do what they love and be who they want to be. Whenever I talk about what I want to do next people turn to me and say don’t forget you have to eat and work scare me not to make a change. Well, what you are saying is I have to be afraid that I won’t eat and my family won’t eat, so I need to settle. Why? If when we were younger our family would have said to us do what you love and the money will follow where would we be now? Some people didn’t listen to their family and friends and decided to follow their dream and maybe they struggled to make a living, but I know several who got creative and figured out how to think outside the box and make it work for them. From actors who decided to be coaches or teachers to those who wanted to go into healthcare to help people to instead found their calling by helping people through working in the non-profit field. Let’s stop telling each other who we should be or the path that we should be on. Let’s allow and encourage others to be who they want to be and do what they want to do. We do only have one life. I am not saying everyone should quit their jobs, but about 95% of the people I know complain about what they are doing currently and speak of the things they wish they would have done as if their life is over and they no longer have the opportunity to do it. We hold ourselves back with excuses and fear. I am not trying to be cold. I am being honest. When are we allowed to go after what we want? Are we only able to do that at 18? Just because we have families and responsibilities doesn’t mean we have to give up on our dreams. When you do you are saying what you feel and want no longer counts or matters.
Picture this, your life is done – you know it’s over and you are saying goodbye to your loved ones. You spent 60-70 hours at work every week for 45 years. Are you at this moment thinking about how much you accomplished in your life and in your profession and you are feeling proud of both or are you having regret because you never spent any time with your family and what you did every week for 45 years was not what you really wanted to do?
If today is the only day you are given then what are you doing to get you closer to where you want to be? We all seem to be waiting for the magic bullet, the lottery win, the special sauce or magic potion that is going to make us rich, keep us looking young and create the inner and outer happiness that we have always wanted. Well, unfortunately or fortunately you have the opportunity to create all of that. It is truly your decision. You may not win the lottery and your bank account may not have $1M in it, but if your emotional bank account is empty all the money in the world won’t be able to change that. Fulfillment may be easier with cash at hand, but there are many very rich people who are not fulfilled and feel very empty. How do you create both? I know this is going to sound hard to believe – by you believing you deserve it and it is possible for it to become a reality. Manifesting what it is you want is the first step. Knowing that it is on its way is the second and taking small steps every day towards making the impossible, possible. Baby steps count!
When someone tells you your idea of doing whatever it is you want to do is not going to make you enough money what are you going to say?
My daughter wants to go into film. There are not many female directors, but there are some and those that are doing it stand out and are well regarded. If I tell my daughter that she shouldn’t go into that field because the likelihood is that she may not succeed than I am telling her that she is not as good as the ones that have. Is that true? No… Instead I am telling her do what you love and if it is that important than work to creatively create a position for yourself. Think outside the box and know that as long as you believe you can, you will. Why, because others did and if it doesn’t work out it’s not a back-up plan you need its outside of the box thinking to creatively get you to where you want to go. Don’t settle! Doesn’t mean she will not work to make money doing other things along the way as she continues to keep her eye on the prize, networks, and interns in order to get her closer.
I went to the doctor a few days ago because I was sick and told him I was feeling tired because I am working three jobs. One full time to pay the bills and give me and my kids health insurance, one that I went back to school for because I so badly wanted to help people and another in honor of my Dad that will help others who love to be in the performing arts. He told me to give up the latter because I need to be able to eat and that way I won’t be so overwhelmed. So, I should give up the one I enjoy the most that has the potential to help so many and provide me and my family fulfillment? That is sad advice. He didn’t even ask what I wanted. I didn’t say I wanted to give up anything. I just know I need to take better care of myself. How would he have felt if someone told him along the way becoming a doctor costs too much money, so sorry but you will have to give that up and become a janitor? Would he have? Now there is nothing wrong with being a janitor. I say if you want to be a janitor than be the best janitor ever. Give whatever it is you want to do 100%. Come up with creative ways to take your passion to a level that it can support you, but don’t give up on your dream out of fear. If someone else has made a lot of money doing whatever it is you want to do, why can’t you? What makes that person better than you?
The fear factor drives so many and I am working on not allowing it to drive me. It is hard because I have been programmed that way as we all have. I am working on not allowing that fear factor to spill over to what I am teaching my kids. I am not saying be a dreamer, but I am saying who said you can’t have a dream and it make it a reality?
Where else in your life are you allowing fear to drive your decisions?